Broken and Buried
by Maliha R Pattinson
Summary: Broken in the worst possible ways, what better way to get over what you fear the most, than to become it? This is Bella, a fallen fairy-tale. And this, is her story.


Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight related.

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The room smelled of piss and cigarettes, the rain beating against the window pain was the only sound that accompanied Jacob Black's haggard breath. He shifted and groaned, trying and failing to find a comfortable position in the too short bed. His body begged for the escape that tagged along with sleep, while his eyes and forehead throbbed with the need for rest.

His thoughts played in his head as if on a loop. A fucked up horror film that refused to be paused, denied to be stopped.

Her voice... _her screams. _The begging and pleading she'd done. _Stop. Please. Jay, please!_ _I can't, I can't._

Leaving her torn, abused body in the shit sack of a hall way, in that shit sack of an apartment complex.

"Ahhhh!" He screamed to no one but himself. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Please. _Please! _" His cries were the opposite of his self. They were weak. The hideous sobs raked his body with every convulsing cry.

He had been fine. He'd buried away his guilt. Shut off the part of him that wanted to end his own life. He'd _forgiven himself. _Forgiveness. What a sick fucking joke. There was none. He could try and blame his old self all he wanted. He could pin it all on his _condition_. The drugs; they'd fucked him up. It wasn't his fault. _He never wanted to hurt her. _

Then why did he? He'd witnessed people fucking up his entire life. Saw people hurt the ones who'd done nothing to deserve it, people they claimed to love. He'd never bought into people going out of their minds. And even if they did, how could anyone hurt and abuse someone if they had no intention to at all? The answer is they didn't. Anyone who's ever hurt anyone knew exactly what they were doing, and why they were doing it.

Maybe it was her complete faith in people. Her sickening optimism for human life. The sparkle, the naive wonder she possessed. Part of him could admit that it sort of sickened him. Her happiness. Something in him, something not at all good, something very, very wrong. That something wanted, no, _needed_ the bright light in her eyes to fade, to be replaced with the true horrors of the world they inhabited. This part swallowed him whole. While the drugs did their job of creating the monster, the root, the tiny seed, was always present. And ready to pounce.

_He'd come home, and there she sat, reading her precious book, looking for all the world like she'd just stepped out of a heartwarming fucking musical. And there he was, just finished from shooting it into his veins. Just finished from drinking his body weight in bourbon. Maybe seeing this, she would understand. Understand that he'd booked himself a one way ticket to Hades long ago. Hell, he was practically saving her. _

_But the monster chuckled. He wanted the light gone. _

_He'd grabbed her by her long hair, shoved the book out of her smalls hands. And laughed as she gasped in fear. _

"_This is life, Bellarina. A pit of fucked up people doing fucked up things. Death has gotta be better than this, hmm? Why are we still here? C'mon, let's be happy." _

"_Jake?" She'd whispered. So sweet, so pure. _

"_Don't cry daffodil, don't cry for nothing. I've got you, shhh." He held her shoulders in a vice grip, held her frail body against the wall._

"_Jacob, Jacob please let go of me. You'll be mad at yourself in the morning, please! Let me get you some water, let me try and help-"_

"_Help? Help who? Help me? Oh sweetness, that ship sailed long ago. Can't you see that? I'm dead, buried inside of myself.."_

_She was shaking at this point, her fear, her concern shown bright in her eyes._

"_Jake, you're not making any sense. Please let go of me, you just need to sleep, it'll be better in the morning, I promise. Just… just don't hurt me?"_

_She really was beautiful, standing there, enveloped by her fear. Cradled in it like a tiny infant in their blanket._

_Every day he wondered how someone so good stayed with him, wanting to make a life with him. It really was quite funny._

_He didn't realize he'd been roaring with laughter until she was full on sobbing._

"_Bella! Come now. You're making a mess of yourself, and look at your shirt, it's all wet from those unnecessary tears." He tisked at her. _

_He ripped, ripped, and ripped the collar of her shirt until it opened up for him, her pale skins exposed by the dim light of the desk lamp. Her tears streamed down her face, into her small peeks. _

"_I know what will make me fall asleep Bella. If you'd kiss me goodnight, please, my heart? It's all I need." His words were sweet, yet his hands pawed at her, her cries increased. His hand shot up, to silence her. _

_The monster cheered happily. _

"_I'm done with this game now Bella. I've had a long night, and I'm going to have you."_

_She struggled to get free. "NO! STOP JAKE! LET GO OF ME!" she moved her head back and forth, hitting it quite hard in the process. But he paid this no mind._

_His brain became fuzzy, bits and pieces surfaced through his eyes._

_Forcing her to the ground, trying to keep her quite while he reached to undo his belt._

_Forcing himself in, closing his eyes until it hurt._

_Crying_

_Groaning_

_Silence_

_He stilled, his disgusting pleasure raking through his body until he was left exhausted, and panting above._

_When the fog cleared, he looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed her head heavy. He attempted to lift her, but she remained limp. _

_His mind began to race._

"_Bella? Bella open your eyes." He tapped at her face. Nothing. He leaned down to hear her pulse, but his own was beating so loudly in his ears he couldn't decipher hers. _

_No, God, no._

"_Bella wake up! Holy shit, please no no no."_

_He had her cradled in his arms, his eyes looked around the apartment. His stuff, fuck. His needles, his everything, it was all here. And so was he, and his breathless, bruised fiancée. _

_He immediately stood, his body on overdrive. The monster was shouting now. _

_Leave, leave this place you fucking idiot. Now._

_He didn't recognize his own movement as he scrambled around, stuffing shit into a backpack, looking around the room frantically, looking to Bella, still lying there. _

"_Shit, motherfucker!"_

_Decision made, he took one last look at her face, while walking backwards to the door._

"_I'm sorry… shit, I-I'm.."_

_He raced down the stairs, and upon reaching the landing almost collided with an older woman._

"_Oh goodness son, are you alright?"_

"_T-There's a woman up there… s-she's been hurt it think. God, please call the police, I'm… I'm going to find help!"_

"_Oh heavens, of course! "_

_He watched her run in the direction he'd come. Then proceeded down to the first floor. He walked out the door, still hopped up, and refused to look back._

He slammed his head back against the worn down mattress. His mind dragging him into hell. It refused to let him forget how he ruined something so right, and good. Is there a place, even in the depths of hell for the likes of him?

His thoughts were interrupted my footsteps, quite, soft. He turned his head to the front room, wondering who'd be walking around the building at this hour. _He'd paid his fucking rent this month_.

But he knew, he knew it couldn't have been his landlord whose footsteps were getting closer and closer to where he was. He was a fat, diabetic man with graying hairs; you could hear him coming from a mile away…

No. these footsteps were so light you could barely hear them at all.

It was all very dream like.

So when the door to his bedroom opened up, he didn't have the idea to sense anything amiss.

He must have been asleep, because sure enough, the scent of the girl that haunted him with his every waking breath was suddenly at his nose.

And then, there she was, standing over him, looking as beautiful as ever. Looking _alive_ as ever.

Here it finally is. He thought. She was here in her ghostly glory to rid him of his misery, to forgive him for his faults. He could go on, and try to reinvent his life.

How wrong he was.

She smiled at his horizontal form, her eyes alight with an unmistakable fire, and unmistakable look…

Redemption.

He hesitated. A chill running down his spine.

"B-bella? Bellarina, is that you?"

Her smile widened. "Hello, Jacob." She lifted her hand, and swept the hair away from his moist forehead.

"Shhhhh, don't speak Jacob, you'll ruin this for me." Her voice was calm.

"W-What?"

In a flash, she was up on the bed, straddling his body.

"Are you… are you a ghost?"

She laughed a beautiful, mad laugh.

"Oh God, no! Silly boy. I'm alive as ever sweetheart. But I wish every day that I was dead. But wasn't that what you tried to do, Jacob? Try to kill me? Do you remember it? Because I do. I remember your waste of a body, stumbling through the door of our home, grabbing me, looking like an absolute lunatic. God! I was such a fool back then, wasting my days with a fucking drug addicted ape. But what can I say; I was such a compassionate soul, so eager to heal you. But you couldn't be healed, could you? You were born a monster. And you'll sure as fuck die one."

He attempted to get free, when she pulled an object out of her back pocket.

A razor-blade.

Her eyes changed, the fire more prominent. "You left me in that shithole of an apartment _to rot _after you came inside my passed out body. I'm just here to return the favor, but this time, there won't be a question about whether you're alive or not." She spat with a venomous voice.

"Please… I beg you." He made one last, feeble attempt. The angel of death might as well have been staring him in the face; you could argue that she was.

She laughed. "I begged, Jacob. _Where did that get me?" _

The tears ran down his face.

"Now Jacob, I'm in desperate need of sleep. Help me won't you? All I need is a kiss…"

Bending down, she pressed her cold lips to his.

And slit open his throat.

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Soooo thanks for reading? Haha. Pretty dark, I know. Leave a review to tell me what you think, if you feel so inclined. :)


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